Before I went to South Carolina last summer, I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where I auditioned for American Idol with my ex-best friend, Kelsey. This is the story of that first American Idol audition.
After long hours over two months of practice, besides what I am normally involved in, the week of auditions has come and I have a plan. I'm going to sing Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel".
Randomly, three days before we need to be at the hotel in Pittsburgh, my friend decides she is going to come along. We go through A LOT to get all of the necessary paperwork and don't have time to get anything notarized and she has no idea what she is going to sing.
On the road, we joke around, listen to loud music, and make funny faces at passerby. My mom was driving since neither of us had our licenses yet. We get to Pittsburgh the day before auditions. We check into a run-down motel that looks like a base camp for Iraqi terrorists. Anyway, we unload the van and we set out to find something to eat. I don't remember what anyone else had. I know we went to some weird pizza place and I had some really spicy chicken wings and root beer. I also know that my friend and I were being extremely obnoxious and my mom got mad and made us get up and leave. I thought that was pretty funny, but at the same time I was getting really annoyed with my friend.
While we were driving into the city to get the papers notarized, we were still deciding on what song Kelsey was going to sing. At this point, it was between "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette and "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. I didn't know it until she sang at auditions, but she chose the latter.
We get to the city and we GPS places to get things notarized. First of all, how the FUCK does anyone get around in Pittsburgh? Even the bitch on the GPS was saying "Fuck you. I don't want to help you anymore." Seriously. She started crying because we were frustrating her. Imagine how we felt! Betrayed not only by the morons who designed Pittsburgh, but by the GPS lady who was supposed to get us through the hell they created! Second, no one in Pittsburgh had a normal place to get things notarized. Not a single one. And they all cost $94234989304823 to get it done if the people were at work. Finally, after literally 5 hours, we find a small law firm who has a notary. We go, we pay our $50, and we're finally done with the damn paperwork. I was becoming so incredibly irritable and hot and the only thing I learned that day was how much I hate that city.
We went to Heinz stadium to register. We received bracelets with the American Idol symbol on them and they took our paperwork. They didn't even look at it. They just tossed it in a box. After the hell we went through to get them notarized, I hoped to hell they would somehow process it further in the future.
Anyway, we got something quick to eat that night and hung out at the hotel, being loud assholes all night. I was nervous and when I get nervous I can't sleep. So, it didn't help us the next day when we were all tired and it was all my fault!
We got up at like 5am to get showered and dressed. I wore a black skirt, a sequined lips top, and piano flats. When we got to Heinz field that day, I was first in awe of how many people were in front of us. And then, a while later, I looked behind us and was even more wowed. I was nervous and giddy and my mom, Kels, and I were getting along and talking about all of the What-ifs and wondering what it would be like.
I spotted a group of kids about 2 years older than us. I think I fell in love that day. I met a guy (I don't know his name, but really, what's in a name?) and he was wearing Jackass converse and was playing guitar. I drifted over to listen to him and then he talked to me. Me! And we talked about Jackass and he had met all of my idols! It was so strange. One of those fate meetings. Then, my mom forced me to play my guitar and play one of the songs I had written. Everyone liked it, but I felt so sick almost. Like, embarrassed maybe? And, I didn't even know why.
Kelsey kind of blended in and I was thankful for that. She can be a handful at times. We sat around and listened to interviews with radio personalities and local newscasters and auditioners who were trying their hardest to sing and impress the rest of us. Most of them should have their mouths sewn shut.
Almost everyone was singing Adele. So original. One girl sang a stupid nursery rhyme and was dressed up like a bumblebee. OMG. THEN, there was a kid who sang "California King Bed". He sounded like a dying lamb, Andy Dick, and Cindy Lauper all rolled into one. I was very frightened.
We waited for so long and finally the line started moving. It looked like a refugee camp during an alien invasion. We made it the the seats in the auditorium. Before we could get up and explore the stadium and find a place to practice, the entire group of singers sang bits of "Firework" by Katy Perry. Over. And over. And over again. When that was over with, we practiced and sung for people and judged each other and I was getting more and more nervous. In my nervousness, I changed my game plan. Big mistake. I changed my song selection to "Innocence" by Avril Lavigne.
I was practicing and I was getting nervous and all of the sudden Kelsey comes from behind and scares me on purpose, not knowing how I was about to react. Well, I punched her in the face. I hit her and then felt stupid. I didn't know who it was and I felt bad, but when I tried to apologize, she was being a little bitch. So, I figured she deserved it. I walked away and tossed an entire $3 root beer across the floor. When I went to sit back down in my auditorium seat, she was talking about it to some stranger. So, I raised my fist at her again to scare her. Not gonna lie, her face at that moment still amuses me when I think about it.
Eventually, I don't know how we started talking a little again. I guess we had to because we were both scared shitless and our section had been called. So we made our way down to the field. On the field, it didn't seem fair. You could hear the singers' strain to hear each other and some strained to drown others out. When it was our turn to get in line, they lined us up in lines of either 4 or 5. Each line was a row of five lines. There were 10 judging stations set up with this set up. It was all about the suspense as we inched closer and closer to the judges. When we got there, they pointed at each of us and one by one we sang. Nothing personal, nothing telling. When the people in front of us were great and didn't make it through, I knew I was doomed.
It was my turn. I sang "Innocence" and very well. I wasn't nervous. I looked at the judges. I was calm, collected, and breathing correctly. Then, the judge did something that I didn't think was very fair. He said to me "Good girl." I was under the impression I had done something right and that I would make it to the next round. I was wrong. All they said was, "Sorry. You all have some good qualities, but you're not what we're looking for." All of my line was dismissed. Not what you're looking for? NOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
I coolly set out toward the exit and I was bombarded by a cameraman trying to get me to say bad things. He was like: How do you feel? Don't you want to tell those judges off? etc. Questions that were meant to trap me. All I said was "See you next year." I left and I didn't cry for a very long time. My mom thought I was going to make it and I let her down. Everyone thought I was going to make it. My dad thought I was playing a joke on him again like when I'd get my report card and tell him I failed a class. But, this time, it wasn't a joke. I failed at something. Something that every person in my town begs me to do all of the time.
I felt like American Idol was a scam. An "economic stimulus", if you will. All of us were sold on this dream, this one in a million chance to be noticed, so we spent our time on preparation, our effort on travel and auditions and paperwork, and even more money on travel and notary and hotels. It simply wasn't worth it.
That day, many good singers were sent home. Many great singers were sent home. I am in no way great, but I am in many ways deserving. For me, it isn't about fame and money. It's not even about recognition. It's about getting my foot in the door until I can sing my own songs. Messages that I believe are important for the youth in our nation to hear. It's as simple as that.
Between the driving around and getting lost for hours, our less than desirable motel, the heat, and the 12 hours spent JUST IN THE STADIUM itself, Pittsburgh brought out the worst in all three of us and I wonder if it hadn't been Pittsburgh if maybe I would have gotten at least to the next round.
We went home. We were over it. We were moving on. But, we were highly disappointed at the freak-show American Idol had turned into. Out of the three of us, it was only my mother who watched that season. I can't even listen to "Innocence" anymore and she tries to get me to watch Pittsburgh with her. She was just proud that I tried. I wish I had that sort of mindset where merely my best was acceptable.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Thursday, October 6, 2011
My Ideal Apartment
I've wanted to live on my own, by my own rules since...well, since I realized I was stuck with my parents. For 18 years.
Who knew 18 years would go by so fast?
A few weeks ago, I was accepted to West Virginia University. There isn't any place in the world I'd rather go! I was full of pure joy and it felt completely surreal. Everything I've done my entire life led up to that letter. I admit, I felt pride.
Once a Mountaineer, Always a Mountaineer!
That being said, Morgantown, West Virginia is where I would like to spend at least the next four years of my life. Using Vacany.com, I found an apartment on Lorentz Avenue in Morgantown! It isn't too big, nor is it too expensive; one bedroom, one bath, and only around $500 to $525 a month!
As a Freshman, I will have to live in a dorm. I won't be a Freshman forever! This seems perfect for when I, finally, am completely on my own. It is in walking distance from the WVU campus! Also, a library is located closeby. This is important to me, as I am an avid reader.
Who knew 18 years would go by so fast?
A few weeks ago, I was accepted to West Virginia University. There isn't any place in the world I'd rather go! I was full of pure joy and it felt completely surreal. Everything I've done my entire life led up to that letter. I admit, I felt pride.
Once a Mountaineer, Always a Mountaineer!
That being said, Morgantown, West Virginia is where I would like to spend at least the next four years of my life. Using Vacany.com, I found an apartment on Lorentz Avenue in Morgantown! It isn't too big, nor is it too expensive; one bedroom, one bath, and only around $500 to $525 a month!
As a Freshman, I will have to live in a dorm. I won't be a Freshman forever! This seems perfect for when I, finally, am completely on my own. It is in walking distance from the WVU campus! Also, a library is located closeby. This is important to me, as I am an avid reader.
While looking through pictures of the Lorentz Avenue apartment, the kitchen (pictured above) definitely caught my eye! It's good size for a single person. It looks clean and I like the floors. There's plenty of counter space.
When looking for places to consider living, I look for something worth paying for. I can really see myself in this apartment one day. It would be a place where I can entertain guests, have my family visit, study, relax, keep clean easily, and not feel trapped. There's plenty of space. I wouldn't be embarrassed of living there.
Another great thing are the windows! The natural light that comes into the apartment is beautiful and refreshing. I would be able to look outside and see the nice neighborhood full of other students, like myself, as opposed to an urban apartment, where you look out of the window at a brick wall.
Nature, a college town, and my ideal apartment. Sounds like an ideal life. :)
http://www.vacancy.com/west-virginia/morgantown-apartments/lorentz-avenue/
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Summer Vacation 2011 (August)
This is only my vacation since I've left New Jersey - and Jersey isn't much of a vacation, anyway. I have fun, but it's family matters and drama all the same. It doesn't matter what happened while I was in Jersey because it's the same thing that happens every year (except for 2 things; meeting Aunt Lee again and my cousins meeting my brothers, which rocked my heart as if in a cradle).
I went to South Carolina on the 11th of August in the year of 2011 with my dad. We paid for a sleeper car. It came with dinner. I had a steak, steamed vegetables, and a baked potato. It came with rolls and a salad, coffee and tea, and soda or alcohol. After dinner, I shortly fell asleep on the top bunk. We listened to music the whole way down, taking turns between Toad the Wet Sprocket and Spring Awakening, Hootie and the Blowfish and Katy Perry. 12 hours felt short and there was minimal arguing. It was lots of fun.
The first thing we did when we arrive in Charleston, South Carolina, all the way from Philadelphia (and before that, Williamson, NY for me), after loading our luggage into my dad's best friend's Yukon, was grab breakfast. We went to Bojangle's. The iced tea was horrible and so was my order. I didn't enjoy it any bit, but my dad savored his southern-style breakfast biscuit sandwich. I noticed the humidity and heat right away as we left the air-conditioned fast food joint. Then, we went to Wal-Mart and bought some groceries. Little did we know, food would be the biggest expense during our vacation. What excited me about Wal-Mart was how there were palm trees, even in this poor parking lot, and everything felt like Hollywood (which made my mother comment to me on the telephone that I "needed to get out more"). We went back to the house. It was huge, yellow, and located in a private community complete with a golf course for rich, southern boys to flaunt their swing and their swagger. We met the guy's wife, who was from Greece. She was older, but still had the echo of beauty that all Greek women have. Her accent added to that image as well. Later, we left and I was under the impression we were headed to an Eagles game. I was surprised to find that we were actually attending the only concert that Hootie and the Blowfish would perform this year - the Homegrown concert. They were joined by acts such as Toad the Wet Sprocket and Sister Hazel - bands I had grown up listening to and this meant a lot to me. When I was about 4, I had attended a Hootie and the Blowfish with the same two people who accompanied me this time; my dad and his best friend. Then, under the realization that everything in South Carolina closes at 9 or 10pm, we scoped out a place for dinner. We went to Longhorn. I ordered fresh vegetables, salmon!, a salad, and an iced tea. We had an amazing appetizer - tunions. Mmmmm. I don't remember breakfast and lunch for any of the days I spent in South Carolina, but dinner had turned into a treat each night. We went to Wal-Mart for the second time that day and I bought a dress that I really like.
The following night, we were supposed to attend the 2nd day of the concert, but it rained and we decided not to waste our time. Instead, we headed over to a Chinese restaurant. It was the best Hunan chicken and vegetables I have ever had and the spring roll was amazing, too. I ordered Iced Tea. I opened two fortune cookies and only ate one. I was disappointed because the back did not teach you Chinese, but had a Spanish translation of the fortune instead. I was wearing the dress I had bought the night before. After dinner, we headed to the movie theater to view "The Help". We all enjoyed it very much. When it was over, we went again to Wal-Mart, for the third time in two days. I don't remember what we got, I was too tired to care. We soon returned to the house.
I don't remember the days or nights. They all run together. I only remember what we did in between.
The next night, we went to another movie; "30 Minutes or Less". It was funny as hell! And, I picked it. So :P. I don't remember if we went to dinner, but that seemed like the usual thing to do, so we probably did. I do know that I enjoyed a gelati; mint chocolate chip water ice and chocolate custard.
For the next few days, I worked dilligently on essays for my AP English class. I had finished reading "On Writing" by Stephen King sometime since we had arrived. I finished all of my work in a timely fashion. It was out of the way and I felt relieved.
We could not find my dad's wallet, so we have to use my debit card. It might have been lost on the train. This would be very bad because he carried his birth certificate, I.D., social security card, debit card, and many other important documents needed in his everyday life. I hope it turns up.
I don't remember what night it was, but we went on a Ghost and Dungeon Tour in Charleston, the Haunted City. It was historical and informative, but not nearly as haunted or as believable as Eastern State Penitentiary. Nonetheless, we had a good time. I had an Iced Tea. I don't remember what night it was, but somewhere between "30 Minutes or Less" and Bulldog Tours of Charleston, we ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My dad ordered 6 chimichangas! One of each type on the menu! I ordered a chicken fajita thing, with some weird salad, and it came with tortilla chips and dip. I ordered Iced Tea.
More lazy days passed. I spent these days reading "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" and watching alligators (and hearing them, too) cross ponds and catching frogs and anole lizards. I found the place where the bunnies lived.
One night for dinner, we had pizza from some small place that was open late, which is unusal for Charleston. It was okay, but nothing like Philadelphia's food. I had an Arizona Iced Tea.
Another night, we went to Five Guys. My dad felt sick so he didn't order anything. I had a cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, mayo, mushrooms, and a small order of fries. I ordered Iced Tea. We tried to get downtown in time before the stores closed - and failed. We went to Wal-Mart and I bought "The Help", the novel, and at Heeter Teeter's or something like that, I purchased "Night Shift" by Stephen King.
Last night, we went out to dinner at O'Charlie's. Our waiter was a homosexual African-American kid. He made us laugh. I ordered a steak and salmon dinner with broccoli and cheese casserole and a salad. It was cooked to perfection. I did not order an Iced Tea. I ordered a cotton candy shirley temple. It was good. Our appetizer was potato skins with cheddar and bacon. That, and their special rolls, were delicious and unhealthy. We then went to the movies again, this time to see "Horrible Bosses", which was good and definitely better than I thought it would be. We went to Wal-Mart again, to get my dad's medication. I bought yarn and a crochet needle. I have been working on a scarf. It is a pretty earthy array of greens.
Tonight, my dad and I went to the Woodfall mall or something like that. I bought two shirts from Spencer's. They're pretty awesome. I also bought a journal to write in and a book of trivia. Then, around 9pm - we went out to dinner again. It was my first time at Olive Garden. I wasn't impressed, but being Italian, I have had much good Italian cuisine. I was going to order salmon, but my dad insisted I got something different. I ordered Mediterranean Grilled Chicken and a salad. It was okay. I think the fish would have been better. The feta cheese on my chicken was good, though. I also had fried mozzarella and zuchini. That was my favorite part of the meal, except for my Iced Tea. Now, I am home, calming down wondering why my Internet is giving me shit.
August 21, 2011
I had a long day today. I woke up at 2pm from weird dreams where I was dead and floating, like ectoplasm. Then, I went on Facebook. I don't know why I had the urge to look up Justin Rhody's page, but what I saw made me feel unfortunate, reminiscent, jealous, and yearning. he was performing live (in his pics) with Katharine Carney. Then, I looked at Anders Eckstrand's profile and Sinead Moriah-Howe's, too. I miss them all. Talking to them. I especially miss Sinead. She was my best friend. But, now everything is different and there's no turning back. We can hang out again sometime soon, but it will never be like it was. This makes me cry. Groups of friends, I've had many, but we always disperse.
Around 3pm, we headed to North Charleston. Chris and his wife went to some baby store and my dad and I went to the aquarium. We saw an albino alligator, a river otter, sharks, jellies, stingrays, an Eastern Diamondback, and a huge sea turtle, among other things. I have most of what I saw in photos. When I have time, I'll put some on here. We also saw a 20 minute 4-D "Planet Earth" movie. It was awesome. It made me jump, laugh, and feel at ease all at the same time. When it was over, we scoured the college streets of downtown for a place to eat. What do you know.....FIVE GUYS. I ordered the same as last time. I had an Iced Tea. Then, Chris picked us up and we headed back to the house - which is where I am now.
August 24, 2011
We had Five Guys a-freaking-gain. Same thing. I had an Iced Tea. I didn't get down the beach at all because the guys hate it and I barely know Chris' wife. I'm sick. Stuffy nose, can't breathe. We left the house around 8. Got to the train on time. The train was late getting there. I gave Chris a big hug and thanked him. I think he was happy to get to know me again. I'm happy I got to know him, too. We had a good time, joking, ripping on my dad, playing pinochle. He's cool.
The train ride was...interesting. Getting on felt harder and more crowded this time and so did the entire ride. A lot of weird shit happened that I can't really talk about because people would be embarassed as shit. I watched half of Scarface and, as I had anticipated, I didn't like it and was bored. I listened to music and fell asleep. When I woke up, we went to breakfast. I had a veggie/cheese omelette, potatoes, turkey sausage, and a croissant, with OJ. When that was over, we went back to the room. We fought a lot, mostly due to crampedness and exhaustion. I don't really remember much about the train ride. I feel like maybe I was delusional at some point. The train arrived at our destination an hour and a half late, too, and that pissed me off. I felt grimy and skeeved out. I just wanted to get shower. We got home okay, though. I was worried about derailing after that earthquake. I'm at my Mom Mom Chicky's house. Had a hoagie. Getting ready for meatballs around 8. It's my Uncle Mike's birthday. It's the 25th right now, too, by the way. Tori has a car. Mike has a job, God bless him. I guess all I have left to vacation is hanging around, getting back on a strict diet, going school shopping, applying for college, and going home. Not much time. So much I wish we could have done, but didn't have time for. This is my last summer as a high school student. And, it's practically over. But, I saw new things, went new places, and met old people. I hung out with alligators and learned restaurant ettiquette. I fought with my dad and I fought with myself. Sometimes, we even get along. Soon, I'll be back into the swing of things, which I honestly miss. I miss all of my responsibilities and anticipate that, in the future, I will be a workaholic. I never stop and never will. I will die doing something important. But, for now, I am alive and well and excited to see what the new year will bring.
Time really is getting away from me, as is my memory. Days, weeks, they run together like the convergence of the Yangtze and Jialing rivers. They flow away from me and drown me at the same time. I struggle to remember everything, where we were at all times, but I remember most of what has been said or what song's have been on the radio as we drive the 80 minutes of set driving time to get anywhere; 40 minutes to get to Charleston from Kiawah, 40 minutes back.
Once I remember, my mind will be at peace. For now, it is as if I am forgetting my wallet on a train.
This is everything I have done so far, minus the time spent in the house, sleeping, telephone conversations with friends, e-mails with Mrs. Merriett and Christina Kast about school, arguing, and some things that have slipped my mind since they happened. This is everything I've done so far, but not everything I've felt. This is everything I've done so far, but not everything I've thought about. There is no emotion behind facts. That is for another time.
I went to South Carolina on the 11th of August in the year of 2011 with my dad. We paid for a sleeper car. It came with dinner. I had a steak, steamed vegetables, and a baked potato. It came with rolls and a salad, coffee and tea, and soda or alcohol. After dinner, I shortly fell asleep on the top bunk. We listened to music the whole way down, taking turns between Toad the Wet Sprocket and Spring Awakening, Hootie and the Blowfish and Katy Perry. 12 hours felt short and there was minimal arguing. It was lots of fun.
The first thing we did when we arrive in Charleston, South Carolina, all the way from Philadelphia (and before that, Williamson, NY for me), after loading our luggage into my dad's best friend's Yukon, was grab breakfast. We went to Bojangle's. The iced tea was horrible and so was my order. I didn't enjoy it any bit, but my dad savored his southern-style breakfast biscuit sandwich. I noticed the humidity and heat right away as we left the air-conditioned fast food joint. Then, we went to Wal-Mart and bought some groceries. Little did we know, food would be the biggest expense during our vacation. What excited me about Wal-Mart was how there were palm trees, even in this poor parking lot, and everything felt like Hollywood (which made my mother comment to me on the telephone that I "needed to get out more"). We went back to the house. It was huge, yellow, and located in a private community complete with a golf course for rich, southern boys to flaunt their swing and their swagger. We met the guy's wife, who was from Greece. She was older, but still had the echo of beauty that all Greek women have. Her accent added to that image as well. Later, we left and I was under the impression we were headed to an Eagles game. I was surprised to find that we were actually attending the only concert that Hootie and the Blowfish would perform this year - the Homegrown concert. They were joined by acts such as Toad the Wet Sprocket and Sister Hazel - bands I had grown up listening to and this meant a lot to me. When I was about 4, I had attended a Hootie and the Blowfish with the same two people who accompanied me this time; my dad and his best friend. Then, under the realization that everything in South Carolina closes at 9 or 10pm, we scoped out a place for dinner. We went to Longhorn. I ordered fresh vegetables, salmon!, a salad, and an iced tea. We had an amazing appetizer - tunions. Mmmmm. I don't remember breakfast and lunch for any of the days I spent in South Carolina, but dinner had turned into a treat each night. We went to Wal-Mart for the second time that day and I bought a dress that I really like.
The following night, we were supposed to attend the 2nd day of the concert, but it rained and we decided not to waste our time. Instead, we headed over to a Chinese restaurant. It was the best Hunan chicken and vegetables I have ever had and the spring roll was amazing, too. I ordered Iced Tea. I opened two fortune cookies and only ate one. I was disappointed because the back did not teach you Chinese, but had a Spanish translation of the fortune instead. I was wearing the dress I had bought the night before. After dinner, we headed to the movie theater to view "The Help". We all enjoyed it very much. When it was over, we went again to Wal-Mart, for the third time in two days. I don't remember what we got, I was too tired to care. We soon returned to the house.
I don't remember the days or nights. They all run together. I only remember what we did in between.
The next night, we went to another movie; "30 Minutes or Less". It was funny as hell! And, I picked it. So :P. I don't remember if we went to dinner, but that seemed like the usual thing to do, so we probably did. I do know that I enjoyed a gelati; mint chocolate chip water ice and chocolate custard.
For the next few days, I worked dilligently on essays for my AP English class. I had finished reading "On Writing" by Stephen King sometime since we had arrived. I finished all of my work in a timely fashion. It was out of the way and I felt relieved.
We could not find my dad's wallet, so we have to use my debit card. It might have been lost on the train. This would be very bad because he carried his birth certificate, I.D., social security card, debit card, and many other important documents needed in his everyday life. I hope it turns up.
I don't remember what night it was, but we went on a Ghost and Dungeon Tour in Charleston, the Haunted City. It was historical and informative, but not nearly as haunted or as believable as Eastern State Penitentiary. Nonetheless, we had a good time. I had an Iced Tea. I don't remember what night it was, but somewhere between "30 Minutes or Less" and Bulldog Tours of Charleston, we ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My dad ordered 6 chimichangas! One of each type on the menu! I ordered a chicken fajita thing, with some weird salad, and it came with tortilla chips and dip. I ordered Iced Tea.
More lazy days passed. I spent these days reading "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" and watching alligators (and hearing them, too) cross ponds and catching frogs and anole lizards. I found the place where the bunnies lived.
One night for dinner, we had pizza from some small place that was open late, which is unusal for Charleston. It was okay, but nothing like Philadelphia's food. I had an Arizona Iced Tea.
Another night, we went to Five Guys. My dad felt sick so he didn't order anything. I had a cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, mayo, mushrooms, and a small order of fries. I ordered Iced Tea. We tried to get downtown in time before the stores closed - and failed. We went to Wal-Mart and I bought "The Help", the novel, and at Heeter Teeter's or something like that, I purchased "Night Shift" by Stephen King.
Last night, we went out to dinner at O'Charlie's. Our waiter was a homosexual African-American kid. He made us laugh. I ordered a steak and salmon dinner with broccoli and cheese casserole and a salad. It was cooked to perfection. I did not order an Iced Tea. I ordered a cotton candy shirley temple. It was good. Our appetizer was potato skins with cheddar and bacon. That, and their special rolls, were delicious and unhealthy. We then went to the movies again, this time to see "Horrible Bosses", which was good and definitely better than I thought it would be. We went to Wal-Mart again, to get my dad's medication. I bought yarn and a crochet needle. I have been working on a scarf. It is a pretty earthy array of greens.
Tonight, my dad and I went to the Woodfall mall or something like that. I bought two shirts from Spencer's. They're pretty awesome. I also bought a journal to write in and a book of trivia. Then, around 9pm - we went out to dinner again. It was my first time at Olive Garden. I wasn't impressed, but being Italian, I have had much good Italian cuisine. I was going to order salmon, but my dad insisted I got something different. I ordered Mediterranean Grilled Chicken and a salad. It was okay. I think the fish would have been better. The feta cheese on my chicken was good, though. I also had fried mozzarella and zuchini. That was my favorite part of the meal, except for my Iced Tea. Now, I am home, calming down wondering why my Internet is giving me shit.
August 21, 2011
I had a long day today. I woke up at 2pm from weird dreams where I was dead and floating, like ectoplasm. Then, I went on Facebook. I don't know why I had the urge to look up Justin Rhody's page, but what I saw made me feel unfortunate, reminiscent, jealous, and yearning. he was performing live (in his pics) with Katharine Carney. Then, I looked at Anders Eckstrand's profile and Sinead Moriah-Howe's, too. I miss them all. Talking to them. I especially miss Sinead. She was my best friend. But, now everything is different and there's no turning back. We can hang out again sometime soon, but it will never be like it was. This makes me cry. Groups of friends, I've had many, but we always disperse.
Around 3pm, we headed to North Charleston. Chris and his wife went to some baby store and my dad and I went to the aquarium. We saw an albino alligator, a river otter, sharks, jellies, stingrays, an Eastern Diamondback, and a huge sea turtle, among other things. I have most of what I saw in photos. When I have time, I'll put some on here. We also saw a 20 minute 4-D "Planet Earth" movie. It was awesome. It made me jump, laugh, and feel at ease all at the same time. When it was over, we scoured the college streets of downtown for a place to eat. What do you know.....FIVE GUYS. I ordered the same as last time. I had an Iced Tea. Then, Chris picked us up and we headed back to the house - which is where I am now.
August 24, 2011
We had Five Guys a-freaking-gain. Same thing. I had an Iced Tea. I didn't get down the beach at all because the guys hate it and I barely know Chris' wife. I'm sick. Stuffy nose, can't breathe. We left the house around 8. Got to the train on time. The train was late getting there. I gave Chris a big hug and thanked him. I think he was happy to get to know me again. I'm happy I got to know him, too. We had a good time, joking, ripping on my dad, playing pinochle. He's cool.
The train ride was...interesting. Getting on felt harder and more crowded this time and so did the entire ride. A lot of weird shit happened that I can't really talk about because people would be embarassed as shit. I watched half of Scarface and, as I had anticipated, I didn't like it and was bored. I listened to music and fell asleep. When I woke up, we went to breakfast. I had a veggie/cheese omelette, potatoes, turkey sausage, and a croissant, with OJ. When that was over, we went back to the room. We fought a lot, mostly due to crampedness and exhaustion. I don't really remember much about the train ride. I feel like maybe I was delusional at some point. The train arrived at our destination an hour and a half late, too, and that pissed me off. I felt grimy and skeeved out. I just wanted to get shower. We got home okay, though. I was worried about derailing after that earthquake. I'm at my Mom Mom Chicky's house. Had a hoagie. Getting ready for meatballs around 8. It's my Uncle Mike's birthday. It's the 25th right now, too, by the way. Tori has a car. Mike has a job, God bless him. I guess all I have left to vacation is hanging around, getting back on a strict diet, going school shopping, applying for college, and going home. Not much time. So much I wish we could have done, but didn't have time for. This is my last summer as a high school student. And, it's practically over. But, I saw new things, went new places, and met old people. I hung out with alligators and learned restaurant ettiquette. I fought with my dad and I fought with myself. Sometimes, we even get along. Soon, I'll be back into the swing of things, which I honestly miss. I miss all of my responsibilities and anticipate that, in the future, I will be a workaholic. I never stop and never will. I will die doing something important. But, for now, I am alive and well and excited to see what the new year will bring.
Time really is getting away from me, as is my memory. Days, weeks, they run together like the convergence of the Yangtze and Jialing rivers. They flow away from me and drown me at the same time. I struggle to remember everything, where we were at all times, but I remember most of what has been said or what song's have been on the radio as we drive the 80 minutes of set driving time to get anywhere; 40 minutes to get to Charleston from Kiawah, 40 minutes back.
Once I remember, my mind will be at peace. For now, it is as if I am forgetting my wallet on a train.
This is everything I have done so far, minus the time spent in the house, sleeping, telephone conversations with friends, e-mails with Mrs. Merriett and Christina Kast about school, arguing, and some things that have slipped my mind since they happened. This is everything I've done so far, but not everything I've felt. This is everything I've done so far, but not everything I've thought about. There is no emotion behind facts. That is for another time.
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